Natural Birth?

 

If I could go back in time would I have tried to give birth Naturally?

A question I always think to myself.

And even though I've never done a natural birth I feel like my answer would be yes.

 

 

Some people will read thing and think I'm insane.

Hell. I might even feel insane writing this.

 

I remember this memory like it was yesterday.

Sitting on the couch with Billy as we watched some bogus documentary about how these women wanted a natural birth...they wanted to feel the pain. They talked about how they couldn't stand how the hospitals ran the process and they believe they made things worse.

 

Billy and I laughed and agreed that these women were crazy.

And that I want the epidural STAT. I didn't want to feel a thing.

 

Then came my induction day...I was medicated to dilate since my body wasn't doing it naturally. Looking back now I wish I waited as long as I could for him to come out when he wanted to. Of course being 9 month pregnant me, I didn't care how he came out..as long as he did!

 

They took the medication out and I was still not dilating so they hooked me up to Pitocin to medically make me contract. It feels as horrible as it sounds.

 

Hours later and I was barely dilated to a 1.

 

Naïve me thought the doctors knew what was best. They would never put me or Camden purposely in pain. Well...then they tried to manually dilate me with some sort of balloon. A tube....in a hole barely the size of a centimeter.

 

I just remember biting Billy's watch on his wrist as they had to hold me down. Waiting for it to be over...and it wasn't. He couldn't even get that to work. Then he tried again...and asked to do it again.

 

No. Even the nurse told me to say "I don't want this anymore."

 

I know now I should have said that the second I wasn't dilating. I should have went home and dealt with birth the way god intended it to happen. Not forced by medication or tubes.

I wanted to rock on a ball, walk around, and not be bed ridden while enduring the worst pain of my life...not throwing up from the medication they gave me after two FAILED epidurals.

 

I get jealous when I read birth stories from mothers who went in naturally.

I really do.

 

Some people will probably read this and laugh like Billy and I did.

But to all of my pregnant friends out there...give it a chance.

 

Nobody said you have to take it like a champ and bear it to the end.

I know what contractions feel like at 9 cm dilated..it isn't any sort of walk in the park.

Even at 4 cm dilated they aren't fun..and if you want the epidural...GET IT!

But don't for a second feel like you HAVE to get the epidural because of an order

or that you HAVE to do what the doctors tell you.

 

In my instance now, after letting me sit in labor for 18 hours with broken water I had to get an emergency cesarean. VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) is possible..but due to the risks involved I don't want to risk it and possibly put another child in a NICU or myself in another horrifying situation. So now, I prefer to get cesareans.

 

I'll never know what it feels like to hold my child after birth.

 

 

So think about it....research it...I know getting an epidural sounds great.

My friends praised it. But remember it's not for everyone.

 

 

Comment your experiences below if you have any!

 

xox, Jessica.