Never in a million years would I believe someone if they told me I would be where I am now. Chances are I would probably laugh and tell you to get out of here. I never thought I would have enough patience for a child because I assumed every being that is under the age of 10 years would drive me insane the way my sisters did. But here I am, 21 years old happier than I've ever been with a 6 month old who changed my life forever.
Being a young mom is hard. And I'm not saying this because I want to persuade people from having babies at a younger age. It's the truth. You have to learn to be selfless. You need to realize that it's not all about you anymore. You have a rude awakening about how expensive diapers and formula are, how much sleep you really lose, and you realize who honestly wants to stick by your side through it all. Which by the way, isn't many people other than your family. I've gone through many phases of my life but becoming a mother by far was the most challenging, but by not doubt the most rewarding.
Your Body. Say goodbye to your once perky boobs (sorry TMI, but you read this to know the truth.) I am a big advocate that you CAN and WILL have your body back if you work hard enough for it. But say so long to those bad boys. If you follow me on Instagram you already know I once hated my stretch marks. Once being this little cheerleader who wore size 00 jeans, you can say I was more than upset that I gained 40 pounds in 9 months. I didn't until recently realize that those stretch marks are there because I MADE A BABY. I made Camden, my son..who makes be unbelievably happy. Why should I hate them? So what if people can see them in my uniforms or a bikini? If anything they don't make me look ruined. I think I look stronger. I carried a baby, and gave birth. Personally, I consider myself a bad ass.
Friends. Along with your once perfect boobs, you can say so long to these also. In the beginning it I was great, everyone was excited. Compare that excitement to a relationship. After 50 years, its not so exciting anymore. That's how my 9 month pregnancy went. I feel like every time I wasn't able to show my face at a house party or go out, there went another friend. I think 3 of my friends actually showed up to my babyshower, and the rest were Billys friends and family. At first, it's really upsetting. You don't understand why they just don't care anymore. Then one day, you just don't care...and that's because you have so much more to live for than your crap friends.
Social Life. Billy and I have been very fortunate. If we need a night out, we usually are able to do it because Camden is more than loved by his grandparents on both sides. My once binge drinking 20 year old self became a slowly sipping 21 year old. I think about Camden constantly. Even on my nights out my mind revolves around my son. We went out on New Years, and both said never again. Here I am crying in the middle of this place because I couldn't kiss him a happy new year. And I still stand by the words, NEVER again. Outside of having nights out, just going to Wal-Mart for a shopping trip or getting lunch with a friend is an event itself. I would say it takes me about a hour to get ready and out the door. As Camden has gotten older, it's gotten easier to amuse him as we go out...but that girl with her sweats on holding a screaming child in the middle of Target because of teething...yeah that was me. And that time you saw a girl trying to squeeze in between the rows of clothes with a shopping cart and carseat because NONE of them are ever cart friendly...yeah that was me also.
Reality. I feel like Instagram is big influence on this topic. In the beginning, about a month after Camden I looked at all my mommy followers on Instagram and was applauding them for having time to even look decent to take these adorable photos with their babies. Here I was lucky enough to take a 5 min shower, and these girls had a full face of make up and curled hair! To this day, I still don't understand how they did it, and I still applaud them. But what I know is, Camden allows me to put my hair up and maybe add some mascara to my face. 6 days out of 7 my hair is in a pony tail, which means I praise the days I can even straighten my hair...better yet, even feel like doing it! So with that said, the pictures I post when I look at least decent, Camden must have been in the middle of an awesome nap.
To sum up my days, I wake up around 7:30 everyday..yes everyday, including weekends. There's no sleeping in for me. I feed Camden and usually he plays on his bouncer and play mat until he wants to be fed again or changed. Repeat that about 4-5 times until its bath and bed time around 8pm. I'm ready for bed by 10pm...and like I said before yes...everyday, including weekends. I promise you it's truly a lot more exciting than it sounds. If you're not a mother you're probably reading this like how in the world are you happy? The answer is and always will be, you will never know until you become a mother.
xoxo
Jessica
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