Artial Septal Defect

Atrial Septal Defect. The words I didn't want to hear. Ever. But I did today. I feel like I should have been prepared for this but I guess open heart surgery is just something no parent can be ready for.

 

"An atrial septal defect (ASD) is a congenital heart defect (meaning that a baby is born with it) in which the wall that separates the baby’s upper heart chambers, or the atria, doesn’t close completely."

 

In 1995 when I was 3 years old I was diagnosed with ASD and went in for surgery that year. I was born with the Hand Heart Syndrome with comes with other upper body issues but they vary in severity by person. Growing up I knew my children had a 50% chance of inheriting my imperfections but I truly never thought it would happen. Not to Camden, not my baby.

 

Today was the big day at the Cardiologist. I truly didn't think we would hear or know much. We got an EKG done, we joked with all the doctors and nurses. They all loved Camden and he was being incredibly good with all the poking and prodding, probably the calm before the storm. Then Dr. Brenner came in, sat down and spoke with us softly about the murmur, how there's a hole in his septum, the size, and that it will need surgery for repair.

 

Thank god he wrote it all down and had it all drawn out in front of us because I don't think I listened to anything beyond that point. All I did was cry and look down at my baby who seemed so perfect it was too wrong to be true. I was crying as he was looking up at the doctor in wonder and Billy held my hand.

 

Right now I'm a mix of emotions. I know I shouldn't be negative, we can only go further by being positive. There's just been so much thrown at me at all one instance. The surgery wont be required until he's 3 years of age. I can't figure out what's worse, not knowing...or knowing and having this wait. He's going to be a healthy baby regardless growing up, he'll just have shortness of breath. I'm living proof that he can and will grow up just fine and we can get through this.

 

I also know I have no idea what we're going to be walking into after the next 2 years.

 

There's a difference when you're the mother watching your child go through all these scary changes. But like Dr. Brenner asked me, "Did you remember anything?"

And I didn't.

 

Time will only tell how severe this will get. The magic age seems to be 3 and there is a POSSIBILITY we don't have to do a surgical procedure to fix this but the doctor seems to think that won't be the case. He's pretty secure on the fact that we will have to do open heart surgery to repair it.

 

Camden is not sick, he does no less than any other baby. He's just special.

Stay tuned for updates, and I apologize if this is all over the place. That's kind of how my mind is working at the moment.

 

 

Jessica